Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done. I've learned a lot and I've changed a lot. I wish I could take my hard-learned life lessons and put them directly into my kids' heads, but everyone has to learn on their own.
When they're ready, I have some advice:
Who's Right?
You're not always right.
Sometimes, your sister or brother is.
Sometimes, even when you are right, it's not always good to make them see that.
Sometimes, you have to let them be right, even when they're wrong.
Most times, there is no 'right' or 'wrong', only compromises between your 'right' and their 'right'.
There is something more important than who's right or wrong.
That something is Respect.
Allow them to be them, not a copy of you.
Allow for their way of doing things, or thinking things.
And show them how they can do this for you.
We can't all be identical.
Life is much more interesting when people are all different.
When you let them to be who they are, you can learn so much from them.
You don't have to change to be like them.
You can change how you look at things.
You can learn to see things from their perspective.
Not to leave your perspective behind, but to add theirs to yours.
And when you add to your perspective of life, you grow.
That is what you need to do your entire life.
Grow.
And change.
As I've had to change, and am continuing to change, to be a better parent.
It's not always easy.
Or fun.
And a lot of people can't do it.
It can be pretty scary to admit to yourself that you're not always right.
Or the best you can be.
And it's hard to accept that the world isn't black and white as defined by your beliefs.
That it is, instead, all those shades of compromising grey.
(Originally written in 2012)
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